Chuck Norris Quote

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

God wanted 10 days to create the world. Chuck Norris gave him 7.


Guns don’t kill people, Chuck Norris kills people

Chuck Norris kills 14 white people at the end of every week just to prove he isn’t racist.

Every time Chuck Norris kills a man, an angel gets its wings.

Chuck Norris doesn’t pray to god, god prays to Chuck

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the Atomic bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Instead of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning, the bomb was more “humane”

Before Chuck Norris visited them, they were called “The Virgin Islands” Now, they’re just “The Islands”

When Chuck Norris was a teen, he had sex with every nun in a small convent in Tuscany. Nine months later, the nuns all gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated champions in NFL history

Chuck Norris can divide by zero, but he only has to look at zero and it divides itself.

Rene Descartes wrote “I think, therefore I am”. Chuck Norris wrote”I fight, so you my friend are fucked!”

Chuck Norris knows what The Rock is cooking, because The Rock is Chuck Norris’ personal chef.

Chuck Norris shot Vito Corleone

Chuck Norris first proved the theory of relativity. Albert Einstein stole the project. We today know Albert as Stephen Hawking

Chuck Norris can’t die because God dosn’t want him in heaven(because he thnk he will roundhouse-kick everyone to Earth) and Satan is afraid he will takeover Hell.

God did not create man in his image but in the image of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris ate Jesus and then shit out the bible

God himself has a Chuck Norris poster in his living room.

The mafia pays Chuck Norris for protection.

Taken From:  http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/